David Beckham is on top of the main stand at Old Trafford ready to jump off after a nightmare first half of the Premiership and World Cup campaign. He's lost the World Cup for England by getting himself sent off and everyone and his dog hates him, Posh Spice has dumped him for Michael Owen and United have put him on the transfer market for 10 quid because he's playing shite. As he's about to jump off Father Christmas taps him on the shoulder. "Are you OK, David?" asks Father Christmas. David explains his life is a mess and gets ready to jump... "STOP!" shouts Father Christmas. "I'll grant you three wishes on the understanding that you do me a favor". "That would be top!" says Beckham "Cheers, Father Christmas, thank you, thank you". Father Christmas asks him for his three wishes:
1) In the Argentina match I don't kick the Argy but shoot from the freekick and score, and ENGLAND go on to win the World Cup and I'm a National hero.
2) I marry Posh Spice and live in happiness.
3) I'm made best footballer in the world by FIFA and my wages go up to a million a week.
"OK, I'll grant your three wishes after you've done my little favour" said Father Christmas. " What do I have to" says Beckham. Father Christmas tells Beckham to drop his pants and bend over. After a brutal rogering, Father Christmas asks Beckham how old he is. "24" replies Beckham "Aren't you a bit old to believe in Father Christmas!!" laughs the fat, gay Man City fan.